May 2012
- math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
- history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
- literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
- Physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
cosmo tip #249
when hes having sex with you, shout out your own name instead of his.
“We let Willow cut her hair. When you have a little girl, it’s like how can you teach her that you’re in control of her body? If I teach her that I’m in charge of whether or not she can touch her hair, she’s going to replace me with some other man when she goes out in the world. She can’t cut my hair but that’s her hair. She has got to have command of her body. So when she goes out into the world, she’s going out with a command that it is hers. She is used to making those decisions herself. We try to keep giving them those decisions until they can hold the full weight of their lives.”
—
(On why he let Willow cut all of her hair off)
Read more: Will Smith On Allowing Willow To Cut Her Hair: ‘She Has Got To Have Command Of Her Body’ | Necole Bitchie.com
- He raises a really great point. What would it mean to believe very early that my body was mine. That it’s not for anyone or for any particular purpose other than to be mine until I decide otherwise.
(via larepublicadedet)
I was damned near 30 before I could believe my body belonged to me & me alone. Dear people who take an issue with this,
Let the Smiths do right by their babies & shut the fuck up about how you think they should parent.
(via karnythia)
This is correct parenting. Seriously, let your children do what they want with their body BECAUSE IT IS THEIR BODY. My dad personally views piercings as a type of mutilation but did he say no when I wanted to get my ears pierced, my nose pierced, my lip pierced? No, because it was MY body.
(via fuckyeahsexeducation)
First Lady Michelle Obama: If I Could be Someone Else, I'd Choose Beyonce →
huffingtonpost.com
Michelle. Michelle, stop it, you are not my spirit animal
- Every time i see a math word problem it looks like this :
- Questions : If i have 10 apples and you have 11 ice cubes, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
- Answer : Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
That's What She Said: common misconceptions that Americans have about England →
historykrackenoftheabyss.tumblr.com
s observed by a Surrey-dwelling American wanker who doesn’t like sitting in pubs next to other Americans like this evening.
-It rains constantly. In fact, it rains about as much as it does in New England. Seattle is probably worse. There are just more grey days, and ‘London fog’ hasn’t existed since people stopped burning coal.
-‘Tea’ is a separate meal eaten at 3-4pm. This has not been true since the turn of the century; ‘tea’ is sometimes used to refer to dinner.
-English people are extremely polite. English people, particularly Londoners, tend to be hilariously rude. However, they do so in a sneaky passive-aggressive way that goes over many Americans’ heads, as Americans like to both tell and show how they’re feeling.
-One may publicly compare football and American football. One may do so if one wishes to lose teeth and/or all chances of acceptance in legitimate sporting communities, i.e. pub. The Champion’s League Final /=/ the Super Bowl.
-OR: Football matches are savagely violent. This has not been true of Premier League games, mostly, since the Eighties.
-The Beatles have charming accents. The Beatles are horrible Scousers.
-Everyone has charming accents. Any Southerner and/or Jeremy Kyle can and will emphatically give you crude examples to the contrary.
-Most people are posh. That would defeat the purpose.
-British TV dramas are the cornerstones of English life and development. Just kidding that’s true.
you can’t spell school without i hate my life
Nobody can play RDJ better than Tony Stark
Today, Xena leapt at a door, thinking she could scale it.
Suffice to say that her mission failed and it was hilarious.
THE BEST TRAIN CONVERSATION I HAVE EVER OVERHEARD
- Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
- Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
- Man 1: but I'm not!
- Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: honestly?
- Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: probably Iron Man.
- Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
- Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
- Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
- Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
- Man 2: oh yeah..
- Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
- Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
- *awkward silence*
- Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
- 10 yr old: omg i can't wait to be a teenager i'll go out to parties with my friends and wear cool clothes and skip school and drink and play music really loud and get grounded and sneak out and stay up late and go to concerts and have an amazing social life omg i can't wait
- me: spills cereal on cat
“There is a rumor going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.”
—
Sir Terry Pratchett, The Daily Mail (U.K.), June 21, 2008 (via nonplussedbyreligion)
I know your feels, bro.
(via lord-kitschener)
- Tumblr: Only a heartless person would scroll pa-
- Me: *Scrolls past*
“As egos collide, Black Widow—street name, Natasha Romanova—is the only character who does not throw a monstrous hissyfit. The only character to gather actionable intelligence against Loki from Loki. The character who not only literally kicks sense back into the brainwashed Hawkeye, but then absolves him of any sins performed while under the loony god’s spell. You want fearless? When midtown Manhattan is swarming with thousands of robo-aliens, the dreaded Chitauri, Black Widow commandeers one of their slippery aero-sleds and flies it to steal Loki’s glowing phallic scimitar so as to save the world so Iron Man can blow up the aliens.”
—
From an article about the reviews downplaying/ignoring the importance of Black Widow in the film, and the role of women in action in general. (via msrooneymara)
#i hate people who call her being rattled by the fucking hulk anti-feminist #SHE IS ALLOWED TO BE SCARED #ITS THE GODDAMN HULK AND HE WAS GOING TO KILL HER???
(via jekylls)
