- math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
- history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
- literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
- Physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
when hes having sex with you, shout out your own name instead of his.
(On why he let Willow cut all of her hair off)
Read more: Will Smith On Allowing Willow To Cut Her Hair: ‘She Has Got To Have Command Of Her Body’ | Necole Bitchie.com
- He raises a really great point. What would it mean to believe very early that my body was mine. That it’s not for anyone or for any particular purpose other than to be mine until I decide otherwise.
I was damned near 30 before I could believe my body belonged to me & me alone. Dear people who take an issue with this,
Let the Smiths do right by their babies & shut the fuck up about how you think they should parent.
This is correct parenting. Seriously, let your children do what they want with their body BECAUSE IT IS THEIR BODY. My dad personally views piercings as a type of mutilation but did he say no when I wanted to get my ears pierced, my nose pierced, my lip pierced? No, because it was MY body.
- Every time i see a math word problem it looks like this :
- Questions : If i have 10 apples and you have 11 ice cubes, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
- Answer : Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Suffice to say that her mission failed and it was hilarious.
- Man 1: But I'm not Gay!
- Man 2: Yeah, but if you WERE. Thor or Loki?
- Man 1: but I'm not!
- Man 2: IRRELEVANT! THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: honestly?
- Man 2: THOR OR LOKI!
- Man 1: probably Iron Man.
- Man 2: SERIOUSLY? TONY STARK?
- Man 1: yeah. I'd love to be Robet Downey Jr's bitch. God, that man....
- Man 2: ooh I know what you mean. how would he proceed?
- Man 1: well we'd be having dinner and he'd have his hand on my leg and he'd whisper in my ear and tell me exactly what he was going to do to me.
- Man 2: oh yeah..
- Man 1: and then his hand'd go further to the top of my leg and start grasping my-
- Random Woman: EXCUSE ME THERE ARE CHILDREN ON THIS TRAIN.
- *awkward silence*
- Man 2: ...and you said you werent gay!
- 10 yr old: omg i can't wait to be a teenager i'll go out to parties with my friends and wear cool clothes and skip school and drink and play music really loud and get grounded and sneak out and stay up late and go to concerts and have an amazing social life omg i can't wait
- me: spills cereal on cat
Sir Terry Pratchett, The Daily Mail (U.K.), June 21, 2008 (via nonplussedbyreligion)
I know your feels, bro.
- Tumblr: Only a heartless person would scroll pa-
- Me: *Scrolls past*